Mr Rogers knew how to talk to children. He always managed to get his message across. No matter what the subject. And you might think that this all just flowed from him. But you’d be wrong. It wasn’t easy. It rarely is when you are communicating with children.
An immense amount of work went into every single show. And this calculated approach helped countless millions of children over the years. The Mister Rogers Neighbourhood show writers Arthur Greenwald and Barry Head even gave his style and approach it’s own name “Freddish”. Which they talk about in this Atlantic article.
But they didn’t stop there. They also produced an illustrated manual called “Let’s Talk About Freddish” that went into detail about the level of care Mr Rogers put into everything he did for the show. And it’s from this that his 9 simple rules for how to talk to children were born.
And here they are:
How To Talk To Children: Mr Rogers 9 Simple Rules
- “State the idea you wish to express as clearly as possible, and in terms preschoolers can understand.” Example: It is dangerous to play in the street.
- “Rephrase in a positive manner,” as in It is good to play where it is safe.
- “Rephrase the idea, bearing in mind that preschoolers cannot yet make subtle distinctions and need to be redirected to authorities they trust.” As in, “Ask your parents where it is safe to play.”
- “Rephrase your idea to eliminate all elements that could be considered prescriptive, directive, or instructive.” In the example, that’d mean getting rid of “ask”: Your parents will tell you where it is safe to play.
- “Rephrase any element that suggests certainty.” That’d be “will”: Your parents can tell you where it is safe to play.
- “Rephrase your idea to eliminate any element that may not apply to all children.” Not all children know their parents, so: Your favorite grown-ups can tell you where it is safe to play.
- “Add a simple motivational idea that gives preschoolers a reason to follow your advice.” Perhaps: Your favorite grown-ups can tell you where it is safe to play. It is good to listen to them.
- “Rephrase your new statement, repeating the first step.” “Good” represents a value judgement, so: Your favorite grown-ups can tell you where it is safe to play. It is important to try to listen to them.
- “Rephrase your idea a final time, relating it to some phase of development a preschooler can understand.” Maybe: Your favorite grown-ups can tell you where it is safe to play. It is important to try to listen to them, and listening is an important part of growing.
Simple, Informative and To The Point
Mr Rogers understood that children take things literally and can easily misinterpret your words. His 9 simple rules distil down what you wish to say and make it so that (for the most part) your message is conveyed how you wish it to be.
So the next time that you need to speak or convey a message clearly to a child, remember to be like Mr Rogers and follow his 9 simple rules.