We all know someone who is outgoing, gregarious and seems to draw people to them like a moth to a flame. It’s their natural state of being. And it all looks so easy. But here’s the secret and a little piece of life advice: To most people, answering the question “how to be more likeable” is not as easy as be more happy. Yes, sure there are people who fall naturally into the likeable category, but for most of us it’s about how we approach situations.
You need to be aware that the things you do and how you are perceived matter. And then you need to work on those things. And we are here to help you. With 13 ways to help you be a more likeable person.
How To Be More Likeable – 14 Ways
1. Develop a positive mental attitude.
Nobody wants to hang around a negative person all the time. In fact, let me correct that. The only people who want to hang around negative people are other negative people. Changing your outlook to a positive one takes time. But from now on, every time something happens that causes you to think negatively, stop and analyse the situation. Maybe someone cut you off whilst driving. Think about where they are going. Are they late for something important? Is a loved one in hospital? You get the gist. Take the negative association away from each situation and your positivity will start to shine through and allow you to see the world in a better way.
2. Pay attention to how you speak.
Using a friendly tone will pay dividends. Make eye contact, smile and think carefully about what you say.
3. Pay attention when others speak.
Engaging with people when they speak is a key skill in “how to be more likeable”. Really listen to what they have to say, ask questions and make little nods or gestures at the right time. The difference between that and just waiting for your turn to speak will be huge.
4. Maintain your composure.
Sometimes we have to deal with stressful situations. Being able to remain calm and composed at these times will help to endear people to you. Nobody likes the person who goes off like a rocket at every opportunity. And let’s face it, most of those stressful situations turn out to be nothing long-term anyway. Keep your cool.
5. Have an open mind.
This feeds into the 1st point of having a positive mental attitude. Keeping an open mind means not dismissing people and their ideas. So what if Kathy from accounts believe in aliens? Ok, it’s an extreme to put the point across, but does it matter? Chat to people, discuss their likes and ask questions. If nothing else, you got to know a person a little better.
6. Smile, Smile, Smile!
Not only is smiling good for your soul and helps you to foster a positive vibe, it also works wonders on others. Think about it, that one person you see who always looks happy to see you. How happy are you when you see them? Why? because the happiness is infectious and you associate that person with happiness.
7. Praise People.
Taking the time out to notice people will make their day. Love your new haircut, good work on the johnson account etc. People love genuine praise. Just don’t go too over board with it, or it comes across as fake.
8. Honesty is the best policy.
Working on yourself is the best way to improve yourself and be more likeable. Have someone you trust discuss your flaws and weaknesses. Instead of brooding on them, work on them.
9. Use tact.
So many people need to learn this. Especially the “brutally honest” folk. Newsflash, you’re not being “brutally honest”, you’re just being brutal. Some thoughts don’t need to be expressed, won’t change anything and will make you out to be an asshole of the highest order. Having tact is a life skill you need. Practice it and think before you speak.
10. No good deed goes unpunished.
Try to do one nice thing a day. Could be bringing donuts into work, sending flowers to someone, whatever. The act of kindness is a reward of its own and you will feel yourself becoming a more positive, likeable person because of it.
11. Use empathy.
Every single person on this planet is fighting their own battles. Internally and out. Think about this word when you look at the world and get perspective. Sonder. What does it mean? It means to realise that each person you pass lives a life as vivid and complex as yours. You might just be a bit part player that is seen once. An extra in a coffee shop or a passerby in the street.
12. Do not procrastinate.
Nobody likes it when you’re late. It’s not quirky or cute. Hand work in on time, be at the meeting place on time. It will also lead to a lot less stress in your life, as an added bonus.
Did you fuck up? Own it and apologize to the person. Don’t let bad feeling linger and don’t be so egotistical to think that you don’t have to apologize. Owning up to our mistakes and learning from them is how we grow as human beings.
There we have it. 13 ways on how to be more likeable. Did we miss anything? let us know in the comments and don’t forget to share this article and help the site to grow!